International Business Travel by Sector · Bar Chart
A complete IELTS Academic Writing Task 1 question with a model answer of 190 words, plus a breakdown of the sentence structures, cohesive devices and vocabulary that answer uses. Write your own version first, then compare.
Written by Manish Sharma · CELTA and DELTA qualified · 8 years teaching IELTS
Score my answer to this questionThe question
You have 20 minutes. Write at least 150 words.
The bar chart below shows the average number of international business trips per employee per year in five industry sectors, comparing 2015 with 2024. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. [Chart Data] Sector | 2015 trips/employee | 2024 trips/employee Financial Services | 5.4 | 3.1 Management Consulting | 6.8 | 4.6 Pharmaceuticals | 3.9 | 3.7 Manufacturing | 2.6 | 1.5 Technology | 4.7 | 2.2
How to approach it
- 01Paraphrase the chart description in the first sentence without copying it directly
- 02Open with an overview that captures the universal decline AND the pharmaceuticals exception
- 03Group sectors by behaviour (sharp fallers vs broadly stable) rather than describing each in isolation
- 04Use a range of trend verbs: 'fell sharply', 'more than halved', 'slipped marginally'
- 05Include specific figures from the chart to support each claim
- 06Comment on relative position changes (pharmaceuticals climbed the ranking despite barely changing)
Model answer
190 words in 4 paragraphs. Read it after you have written your own, not before: the point of a model answer is to show you what you missed, and you cannot miss anything you have not attempted.
The bar chart compares the average number of international business trips taken per employee per year in five industry sectors in 2015 and 2024.
Overall, every sector recorded fewer international trips in 2024 than in 2015, with technology and financial services showing the steepest declines. Pharmaceuticals was the only sector in which business travel remained roughly unchanged.
Management consulting recorded the highest figures in both years, although they fell from 6.8 to 4.6 trips per employee, a drop of around a third. Financial services followed a similar pattern, decreasing sharply from 5.4 to 3.1 trips, while technology saw the most dramatic proportional fall — more than halving from 4.7 to 2.2 trips per employee over the nine-year period.
Manufacturing began the period with the lowest level of business travel at 2.6 trips per employee, and this figure fell further to 1.5 by 2024, leaving it once again at the bottom of the chart. In contrast, pharmaceuticals barely changed, slipping marginally from 3.9 to 3.7 trips per employee. As a result, pharmaceuticals rose from the fourth-most travel-intensive sector in 2015 to the second-most in 2024, despite its own figures remaining essentially flat.
What this answer actually does
Measured from the text above, and compared against the other 38 answers of the same type in this library. These are counts, not band scores: they describe what the writing does, which is the part you can copy.
17.5 fewer than the median answer for this task type
12 words at the shortest, 35 at the longest
2 more than the median answer for this task type
carry a subordinate or relative clause
Sentence rhythm
Sentences average 23.8 words and vary by 7.9 words either side of that, running from 12 words to 35. Variation is the point. Grammatical Range and Accuracy rewards a mix of simple and complex sentences, and an answer where every sentence is the same length reads as flat no matter how correct it is. 3 of the 8 sentences here carry a subordinate or relative clause.
The cohesive devices it uses
7 in total, spread across 4 different functions. Range matters more than count: an answer that opens every paragraph with a sequencer signals its structure but never signals a relationship between ideas, and Coherence and Cohesion is marked on both.
in contrast, although, despite, while
as a result
once
overall
Vocabulary and repetition
Ignoring grammar words, 72 per cent of the content words in this answer are distinct, and 58 per cent appear exactly once. Lexical Resource is where repetition costs the most marks, and the usual cause is not a small vocabulary but reaching for the same noun every time the topic is named.
The longest run of words copied straight from the question is 8 words. Examiners discount wording lifted from the question, so a short run here is the right outcome: the answer restates the topic in its own words rather than borrowing the question's.
What you are marked on
All four criteria carry equal weight, and your Writing band is their average rounded to the nearest half band.
Task Achievement
Cover the main trends and key features across all five sectors with an overview and meaningful comparison.
Coherence & Cohesion
Group sectors by behaviour with clear paragraphing and linking between the two time points.
Lexical Resource
Use varied vocabulary for trends, proportions, and business travel.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy
Use accurate past tenses and comparative structures alongside passive forms where appropriate.
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